Ep. 42: Toxic Positivity vs. True Positivity

If you’ve never heard of toxic positivity, this episode is especially for you! In order to bloom, we have to be willing to sit in the dirt sometimes.

Have you ever gone through times when you were depressed, lacked any oomph for life or you were dragging through the days and not feeling upbeat about anything? I know I’ve had lots of those times myself. As recently as last week. Maybe you found the strength to share that — and yes, I do consider that to be a form of strength because it’s showing vulnerability in this world that largely doesn’t accept mental health issues — but maybe you shared those feelings but the responses you got were like:

“Cheer up!”
“It could be worse!”
“Look on the bright side”
“Don’t worry, it will be okay”
“Don’t cry or you’re going to make me cry”
“It’s really not that serious” or…
“But you’re such an amazing person! You shouldn’t be sad!”

UGH! Gross. Those are all forms of toxic positivity. It’s insensitive. It dismisses the other person’s reality and it sends a signal that can’t trust that you have the emotional capacity to share personal things with you.

Or maybe your gut response right now is, “Hey Kel, what’s your point? Those sound like nice, positive comments to me”. They’re nice but they’re not kind. There’s a big difference. And they’re certainly not compassionate.

Those are examples of toxic positivity.

Also in this episode:
• why true positivity isn’t everything
• why experts have called “positive vibes only” spiritual bullying
• my recent experiences with toxic positivity
• examples of toxic positivity and what you should say instead
• taking a stand for your own boundaries in order to protect your energy
• why you shouldn’t have the goal to cheer someone up
• why toxic positivity is harmful and emotionally inept
• truly positive ways to verbally support someone